Thursday, December 3, 2015

Chutes and Ladders

by John D. Fixx
Head of School

Even though our children are in college and post-graduation, we still play family board games during holidays. While losing a recent game of Chutes and Ladders to my son, I noticed on the board that the tops and bottoms of the ladders and chutes are decorated with instructive pictures. The ladders, which help fortunate players move sharply forward, have pictures depicting children being responsible and helping others: cutting the grass, freeing a treed cat, returning a lost item and doing homework.

Discouraging inappropriate behavior, the pictures accompanying the ​chute​s capture children involved ​in more perilous​ behavior: eating a box of chocolates, ra​iding​ a cookie jar, pulling a cat​'​s tail.

The lesson seem​s​ clear ​at​ first. Improper comportment is ​disadvantageous​, while proper behavior​ is​ ​re​warded. But this "exciting up-and-down game for little people​," it turns out,​ is more complicated than that. There is a spinning arrow that determines how many spaces forward a player may move. The arrow, then, not a player​'s​ behavior, determines whether one lands on a safe ​s​quare, a ​positive ​ladder or ​a negative chute​.

Consider what the arrow represents. Life's unpredictable par​celing​​ out of serendipity and disappointment is something we all experience. ​Chutes​ and ​L​adders conveys​ to our​ children that we must try to do the right thing; however, we may still be rewarded even when we are dishonest and ​might​, alas, ​encounter set-backs​ for reasons of pure​ chance.

I thought ​of Chutes​ and ​L​adders yesterday while ​talking with a student who had​ been called on the carpet by​ a​ teacher. Th​is​ student​'​s response – we have all used it – was ​that​ others were breaking the same ​(minor) ​r​ule​ but nobody caught them.

To the s​tudent I explained​ that our concern was with this particular episode of misbehavior and with the formation of the student​'​s integrity ​and ​character. I reassured the student ​that if others​ did not learn a cheap lesson from this mistake, they w​ould some day receive​ the same consequence. ​When a​ police officer hands ​us​ ​a​ speeding ticket, I offered as an analogy, we may feel sorry for ourselves or be angry, but we understand the police cannot catch all lawbreakers. They can, however, try to correct the behavior that time and circumstance​s​ allow.

One of our goals – ​a​s parents and teachers – should be to reassure our shared young people that, more often than not, correct behavior is rewarded ​and​ inappropriate behavior​ is​ unproductive. But we also need to help our children understand that there is, thankfully, a refreshing unpredictably to our daily lives. Sometimes we are unfairly damage​d​ out of proportion ​to a​ misstep but other times​,​ we reluctantly admit, we get applause we don't deserve and rewards ​without fully earning​ them.

The powerful lesson for our children is ​that​ their happiness and satisfaction as children and as adults are determined not by what challenges and vicissitudes life throws at them but by how they react to circumstances. Rather than complaining about which direction the wind is blowing, satisfaction in life is determined by our ability and willingness to adjust our sails.




www.thecountryschool.org





Sunday, November 29, 2015

A World-Class Education: What it looks like

Originally posted by John Fixx on Feb 26, 2015 11:07:00 AM

The other day a Country School parent shared a post on Facebook that caught my eye. It was a link to “How to Spot a World Class Education,” an article by Amanda Ripley, and in sharing it, our parent wrote, “In a nutshell... We are so thankful for a great school and amazing teachers! (Great read for anyone looking.)"

I agree, the article IS a great read, and so I share it too (click here for the complete article, an excerpt from Ripley’s book, The Smartest Kids in the World - and How They Got That Way). Because, as it did for the parent who shared it, the article also made me hugely grateful for our amazing school and amazing teachers, I also share a few ruminations of my own, prompted by Ms. Ripley's description of what parents should look for in a school.

If you’ll pardon a little prideful Head of School crooning, I'll call it: Our Own World Class Education – a Country School Snapshot. Here goes...

Pressed for time on campus the other day, I popped into a classroom for a rejuvenating seven minutes, watching inspirational teaching and engaged learning by 14 fortunate Country School students. When I folded back around to chat with the teacher later that day about what an exciting time I had watching the cooperative learning lesson, the teacher thanked me for coming by and remarked that she wished I could have stayed in the class for the whole period. I told this master teacher that I, too, wish I had had the time to linger and participate.

Then I added, after thanking her for what she gives her students, “One does not need to eat an entire cake to know that it is delicious."

When you watch a soccer game or basketball game or squash match or any sport involving a ball, you learn more about the quality of the players and the team competition by watching "off the ball." That means, rather than following the flight of the ball, you deliberately watch away from the ball, how players move when they don't have it, how they move to open spots to get free, how they anticipate the flow of the play. Wayne Gretzky is arguably the greatest ice hockey player ever. Puck aficionados say that it is because, while other strong players think three or four passes ahead, Gretzky was five and six passes ahead, anticipating the way the play might unfold.

Sophisticated teachers, like those we have at The Country School, do the same thing. They continuously anticipate how a class might unfold and could unfold. They do this when building their lesson plans and they do this during the flow of a unit or class.

I watch off the ball when I stand in a classroom doorway or sit in a classroom watching students learn and watching teachers engage. I like to see what sort of atmosphere has been created that encourages the students to participate, to help each other, to engage. Does the classroom atmosphere bring forward the quieter voices? Are the more talkative students controlling themselves and not monopolizing the conversation? Is the teacher subtle in his/her redirection and prompts? Is there a gender balance in the classroom?

I have a friend who used to judge the quality of a preschool by how muddy his daughter was at the end of the day. The more mud, paint and glue stuck to her, the better a day she had, he figured. In our classrooms on Opening Hill Road, I want to see the kids muddy. Regardless of the age, I want them covered figuratively with paint and glue. I want them to have contributed fully to the class discussion, really working hard, thinking and concentrating. The best learning is hard learning, in which students need to bear down and reach.

Years ago – unfortunately, many, many years ago – when I was new to independent schools and working as a young admissions director, part of my job was to visit local preschool and pre-kindergarten programs in the hopes that they would send more of their students to begin with us in kindergarten. The veteran admissions officer, who also happened to be our kindergarten teacher at this private school in Massachusetts, gave me the list of schools from which we routinely enrolled students and another list of schools from which we hoped to begin enrolling students.

At the end of that week of visits, I sat with her to review what I had learned about and seen at the various preschool and daycare centers. There was one with which I was particularly impressed. It was housed in a brand-new building, with equipment that looked like it had never been used, no tatters to the rugs. This veteran teacher shook her head and explained to me how to review a program. What I had overlooked was the best program in town, which did not have much money, but the students were up and about, took great pride in their program, the parents were practically evangelical about the school, the classroom was filled with music and laughter and cooperation. There were hugs throughout the day.

As a rookie, I had been impressed by the wrong things and I had overlooked the fact that students can be fully engaged, with the right stimulation and imagination, by a cardboard box.

At The Country School, we obviously try to do both. We want the students to have access to plenty of cardboard boxes, as well as appropriate technology, resources, and materials. Our families expect that of us but, were we to make a good argument in favor of tatters and cardboard boxes, I am sure our parents would trust us.

Finally, what is not visible when you are watching off the ball, is a school's commitment or lack of commitment to professional development. A school's budget will be one indicator but the even stronger indicator is how many of the teachers on a regular, monthly and certainly annual basis, are visiting each other's classrooms, attending off-campus professional development opportunities, sharing ideas, reading online newsletters and blogs. Good schools talk about what makes for good teaching and active learning. Good schools provide time at faculty meetings and professional development days at the start and end of the year to keep teachers growing.

I am proud of The Country School’s commitment to continuous improvement in all we do. An independent school is, of course, market driven. It is a peculiar construction in which the paying customers – the parents – are not the consumers of the product. Obviously, the students are the recipients of the education and we need to deliver for them every day. That continuous progress of updating of teachers' skills is essential, along with understanding the latest in brain research and what that indicates about knowledge acquisition. We teach toward student understanding and we are proud of it. Sometimes our teachers are at the front of the classroom and sometimes our teachers are working the classroom like a coach, encouraging, stretching, applauding and coaxing.

As I go into and out of classrooms all day and all week, sometimes for five minutes and sometimes for 45 minutes, I am astonished at the quality of instruction and the depth of commitment that the faculty bring. The students are very fortunate. This is the most talented, dedicated group of educators with whom I've ever worked. It is my privilege to serve them as they serve the students.

Many thanks to the parent who shared this article with us - and thank you to her Facebook friend who brought it to her attention with his sharing of the post, the Director of Admission at Phillips Exeter Academy. It may be difficult to pinpoint exactly what makes an education last a lifetime, but for those of us who have been working in schools for a while, we know it when we see it.

To "see" for yourself, click on this slideshow of TCS faces

Saturday, November 28, 2015

December Well Wishes

originally posted Dec 18, 2014 4:28:00 PM
by Head of School John Fixx

“Any man's death diminishes me,” John Donne famously wrote, “because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

Bells have been tolling too often throughout the United States for shocking events involving armed and unarmed people. And we were all stunned with sadness by the recent atrocious massacre in Pakistan, an attack on children but also on education and life and our future.

But throughout all these events, children in this world and on our campus remind us of hope and celebration and joy. There is so much goodness on our campus daily. Our students leave homes full of love and step away each morning from their families’ embrace into the arms of teachers and staff members who cherish them. And embedded in this rich soil of love, the students gain confidence, they stretch, they risk and they collaborate. We are all fortunate to have this school for our children and for us, as adults. This is our community and we cherish the warmth and shared vision.

I write today to wish you peace, happiness, and blessings of the season. I hope the holidays and school break are filled with laughter and with snuggles. While racing from event to event and from meal to meal, slow down and notice. Notice each other. Notice nature. Notice the cold on your face and the warmth from a fire. Notice the written word. Notice the spoken word and listen. Listen to a story with patience. Help someone who needs assistance. Accept help with pleasure and grace. Catch someone doing something nice and do the same for someone else. At this time of giving and receiving, give and receive with pleasure.

At the Holiday Program tomorrow, we will hold a moment of silence. And then it is on with the show, living life forward with anticipation while looking backward with reverence. My wife, Liza, our children, Nat and Em, and I are thrilled to be a part of this extraordinary community. Thank you for being a part of this special school, as well. I hope you and your family enjoy a happy holiday and a wonderful new year.

For a closing holiday image, one which I think will remind you of the hope and celebration and joy of childhood, here is a photo of our 2014 Court of Levity.


And for some sounds of the season, enjoy a clip of the Middle School band from a recent Holiday Program (click here). More to come tomorrow....

Grateful for The Country School Community

Originally posted Nov 26, 2014 11:17:00 AM

A Thanksgiving Message from John Fixx, Head of School

Encouraging close relationships among students and teachers and cooperation between home and school, we foster a feeling of family.
—From The Country School Mission Statement

Many families come to embrace The Country School as their closest community, knowing more about each other than we know about our neighbors. And we raise each other's children, take them for overnights, feed them, and correct their manners.

I am reminded of this often, but yesterday, watching young alumni return for the Fall Alumni Reunion, it really hit home. Everywhere I turned I saw smiles and hugs and heard laughter and shrieks of joy as former students greeted former classmates and teachers or as current students were reunited with former Reading Buddies. The sounds of students cheering for their teachers – and for their clumsy Head of School, as some of us battled bravely  alongside much younger competitors during the Alumni Day soccer game – will also echo for a long while, as might the sore muscles.



Above, greeting Reading Buddies. Below, greeting a former classmate.



Thanksgiving is a time to come together in our homes as close families, and I certainly look forward to gathering tomorrow with mine. But, as I do, I will also be giving thanks for my other “family” – The Country School community.

I will think of the group of parents and educators, who nearly 60 years ago, came together, determined to establish a school “dedicated to quality education” and capable of “providing an environment where children can develop their full potential.” I will think of the parents, students, alumni, teachers, and friends who, every year since, have carried on the mission of the Founders, so that children are still allowed and encouraged to develop their full potential.

I will think of our current families who, since school opened in September, have already spent thousands of volunteer hours working in support of that mission. I will think of our PTA and all it does to enhance our school – from our Community Welcome Day to the amazing Fall Festival. Stay tuned for the Owliday Workshop….

I will think of everyone who has helped share the news about the extraordinary opportunities available to children at The Country School. I will think of Minds in Motion, which brought bright, curious students and their families to campus from across Connecticut for a day of hands-on learning. I will think of the parents, teachers, and students who turned out to volunteer at our recent Open House or our STEAM Robotics Night. Exposing more families to all The Country School has to offer is everyone's responsibility, and we couldn’t be more grateful to all of our ambassadors.

I will toast the ever-enhancing Roost and those who have come together over the last year to give our school store a boost. The offerings have been juiced and goosed and much creativity let loose. If you have not been down there to shop and thank the volunteers, please do so on the deuce.

I will give thanks to everyone who attended the Harvest Gathering at Saddle Ranch Farms, and to the incredible team who made it happen. I offer a particular thanks to the Pacholyk family and to the many vendors who donated their services to generate some $10,000 for this year's Annual Fund, providing the margin of excellence that gives our children an academic advantage and so many other unique opportunities.

All of this adult philanthropy sets a powerful example to our students, and tomorrow I will celebrate them for working so hard and doing good while doing well. Over recent weeks, Country School students have charitably come together to fill the Can Van with 1,650 non-perishable items for those who would otherwise be hungry. In MacLane House, some of our youngest students caught the bug and brought in hundreds of cans of tuna fish to provide protein and meals to support local families. Our students have learned that others do need a hot, full meal because, along with their caring families, they have served dinner at The Community Dining Room in Branford. That monthly commitment of time, energy, and heart has been a long-standing legacy at The Country School and we hope it endures as long as local families need our help.

Our mission statement calls on our students to support not only the local community but the larger world, and last week, Dean of Students Beth Coyne drove 600 pairs of shoes down to New Jersey. Collected by students since early September, they will be shipped to the Odingoi Primary School in eastern Uganda, where, working with the nonprofit Call to Care Uganda, Country School students are raising funds to underwrite the digging of a well so that children there are able to spend their time in school, rather than walking miles each day to obtain clean drinking water for their families. To date, our students have raised $1,179 for the well project. They are working to raise a total of $8,000. Stay tuned….

As I sit down at the Thanksgiving table, I will give thanks for my colleagues, whose commitment to providing an education that lasts a lifetime is unwavering. It is both an honor and a joy to work alongside this amazing team, whether it is helping to shape curriculum or trying to score against athletes four decades younger on the soccer field.

I also give thanks for our Board of Trustees. Working quietly behind the scenes, they invest copious hours weekly to serve on productive committees and plan both for the short-term and long-term stability of this special school. The Trustees give of their funds, their emotions, their time, and their intellect. Truly, I am grateful.

Finally, I will give thanks for our students, who offer living proof that our efforts are absolutely worth it. There are so many examples I could share, but because today I am thinking specifically about community, here are two that spring to mind.

As many of you know, last weekend 12 Country School cross country runners competed at the Regional Junior Olympics in Maine. The runners spanned several grades – from 2nd through 8th – and the competition was fierce (although, on a very exciting side note, one of our 7th Grade runners, Robbie Cozean, won a gold medal and will be competing next month at Nationals; stay tuned !). After the race, Coach Coyne and I received a message from Karen Rosenthal, the mother of one of the 3rd Grade runners and a Country School graduate herself (Class of 1985). Thank you, Karen, for allowing us to share a vignette here:

I was taking pictures of Tessa near the finish line and in the craziness of the moment after she passed by me, I missed a couple of beats before I realized that she would be alone after coming through the end of the chute. I quickly started to make my way over there and when I finally spotted her, she was being walked to the tent by none other than Captain Joseph [an 8th Grader]. He had his arm around her and I heard him tell her excitedly what a good job she did and how awesome she was and I just hung back and watched Tessa, smiling hugely, revel in this big kid’s warmth. … 
Please extend my gratitude to Joseph and let him know he embodies everything a captain should be! I have told this story a few times, and each time I can’t seem to get through it without tearing up. Watching these kids in the hotel pool, at the restaurant, and at the finish line, I am in awe of how they take care of and enjoy each other.

That is The Country School community in action.

And then one other quick vignette. In October, two alumni, Marina Sachs ’07 and Ben Ballard ’08, returned to campus to enlist participants from The Country School for TEDxYouthDay, an opportunity for Middle School students to deliver TED-style talks at Connecticut College. Six of our students participated and they were spectacular, although the vignette I share isn’t about our current students. Rather, it is about our alumni.

In speaking about the TEDx opportunity, Marina explained that the theme of the event was “Worlds Imagined.” She told students that one of her favorite words is paracosm, defined as “a prolonged fantasy world invented by children; it can have a definite geography and language and history.” As she and Ben spoke with students and teachers, revisiting classrooms and exploring spaces that are new since their days as students, Marina took a deep breath, exhaled, and announced, “The Country School is my favorite paracosm.” Coming from a young woman who organized the first-ever TEDx college forum for Middle School students, served as President of her class at Connecticut College, and researched and authored a chapter in a professor's book about presidential leadership, this is high praise indeed.

Below, Marina and Ben in Marina's favorite paracosm (aka the TCS art studio).



As I sit down to dinner with my family, I will keep those visions and words in mind. I hope you, too, will take a deep, soothing breath this Thursday while in the embrace of your family. We are all fortunate to have each other and we are fortunate to be able to give thanks for The Country School. Enjoy the long weekend, and thank you for all you do.

The Value of Honoring Effort and the Transparency of False Praise

Originally posted Jan 19, 2015 2:43:00 PM
by Head of School John Fixx

When our children were younger, I would fatigue my wife with protestations over the number of trophies and medals our children were winning without doing anything at all. Our son would get a trophy at the end of the soccer season for climbing out of the back of our minivan. He would get a trophy for participating as part of the team in a soccer tournament. He got a T-ball trophy for showing up.

The trophies and medals accumulated on his dresser and made a pretty impressive impression of shininess and achievement. And then one day when he was about 10 years old, he earned a most valuable player trophy after a weekend soccer tournament in which he truly exerted himself, working hard, inspiring his teammates, and refusing to give up against formidable opponents.

He had never heard me speak with my wife about the lunacy of awarding trophies for non-achievement, but the next morning when I walked in his bedroom, all his earlier trophies and medals were shoved back against the wall and the one trophy that he had actually won — actually earned — was standing proudly by itself on the front of the dresser.

I recall that story often and I have told it before because I was so impressed with how my son differentiated between what he had earned and what he had simply been given. I no longer worry about false trophies and empty compliments bestowed on young children, because I do think they are able to differentiate between the two.

That recognition of true achievement AND of hard work makes me proud to serve The Country School. For decades, the school has maintained an Effort List in addition to an Academic Honors List, awarded at the end of each semester. Teachers judge and mark students on their effort in every class, not only on their achievement. Some students make the Effort List and the Academic Honors List pretty regularly. Some students make the Academic Honors List but not the Effort List. And some students make the Effort but not the Academic Honors List. 

Which is more important? I imagine the conversations at the dinner table when the lists are published. If a parent has a child who routinely makes Academic Honors but not Effort, the parent will naturally be talking about how the student can increase his or her efforts to use the talents he/she has been given and learn to persevere. At another dinner table, the parents are praising their child for making the Effort List, regardless of whether that child achieved Academic Honors. Those parents must be extraordinarily proud of how hard their daughter or son is working.

I believe that the Effort List at The Country School conveys to our students that we cannot necessarily control the gifts we have been given in mathematics or science or reading or global language or arts or athletics. But we can control how we apply ourselves, how hard we work, how we grow in our ability to delay gratification and how we learn to push through fatigue and/or rebound after a setback. And, in fact, researchers are telling us that those skills – grit, perseverance, resilience – may be more important to long-term success anyway.

An article from Scientific American published earlier this month makes exactly that point. Called “The Secret to Raising Smart Kids,” the article’s sub-headline reads, “HINT: Don't tell your kids that they are. More than three decades of research shows that a focus on ‘process’—not on intelligence or ability—is key to success in school and in life.” Click here to read the entire article by Stanford Psychology Professor Carol Dweck.

Even students can tell you the wisdom of such thinking. Just as my 10-year-old son symbolically did when he removed the “empty” trophies and displayed the one he really earned on his dresser, a Country School 7th Grader explicitly made the case for valuing effort over innate intelligence when he delivered a TED-style talk during TEDxYouthDay this fall at Connecticut College.

In his talk, Harrison described how, after his first soccer game at age 6, his parents told him he did a great job. He remembered that his uncle told his parents that it would actually better if they praised him for his effort, and Harrison described how he came to agree with his uncle. In fact, he cited research by Carol Dweck (she of theScientific American article), in which she shows how 5th Graders performed better when they were praised for effort as opposed to performance. Here is Harrison's conclusion: “In the future, if schools apply this, everyone will be thinking and raising their hands and participating. Nobody will be afraid to share their ideas…. Someone really super smart with great ideas may be just afraid to share their ideas.

“In the long term, everyone would be thinking like they could do anything and everyone would be bouncing ideas off each other, which would be great because eventually something amazing would come up and everyone would benefit. Collaboration … technology of the future … we could do anything if we all come together. And it all starts by being praised for effort.”

Click on this link to watch Harrison's entire talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndu7sIKiyBU.

It is worth noting that Harrison delivered his talk, which was filled with statistics, without using notes. Here’s what the organizers of the TEDx event had to say about Harrison and his theory: “Praise can push us to achieve our best, but it can also hinder us. Harrison addresses this dualism and suggests a new way of fostering self-confidence and drive in children. By praising children for level of effort instead of raw intelligence, we instill them with confidence in their own ability and a greater sense of self worth.”

The TEDx organizers then went on to describe Harrison. He is a “middle school student at The Country School in Madison, CT,” they wrote. “He is a charismatic young man, wise beyond his years.”

We couldn’t agree more, and we also offer our congratulations and praise to the five other Country School students who opted – entirely voluntarily, using their own time and exerting their own effort – to participate in the TEDxYouth Day. Click here to watch videos of all the participants, including TCS 7th Graders Nate, Alex, Aidan, Evie, and Dan.

Likewise, we thank the two Country School alumni – Marina Sachs ’07 and Ben Ballard ’08 – who used their gifts AND effort to organize TEDxYouthDay at Connecticut College, the first all-Middle School TEDx event in history, as we understand it. We thank them for approaching us to see if any Country School students wanted to participate, and we thank all those who answered the call. Now that, I would say, deserves a trophy – for both effort and accomplishment!